The Break Up - For Real.

I didn't lose feelings for you in a snap.
It was something gradual.
Ever since I realized that you don't express your emotions as much, you don't show that you care, etc, feeling subsided.
I always thought that I could live with you being so quiet and less responsive.
I was wrong.
I actually wanted you to respond more to what I was talking about.
Even my brother could tell that this wasn't where I wanted it to go.
I held on still because I thought I was capable.

I understand that you're not wealthy. I understand that you want to save money.
However, there are many other things that you can show that you care without the use of money.
In other words, you can do so much more to show that you really do care.
I don't need a lavish and glamorous surprise or dinner.
Actions do really speak louder than words.
What's the point of me 'knowing' that you care but you don't ask, you don't show that you care?

After almost 4 years, when friends ask me what's the most romantic thing you've done, what's the best surprise you gave, what do we do on anniversaries, I ask myself these questions and realize I'm not happy with the answers.
They say dating is the most exciting part of a relationship.
I never look forward to anything in this one.
When I did, honestly, I was always disappointed.
I was never surprised.
I was never touched with a romantic act.
I was being in the relationship because I loved you.

But I guess love is not the most important thing in a relationship.
Being happy is.
I loved you for who you are, but at the same time, I wished I was happy.
I wasn't happy because I really felt like I deserved better.
I really wanted to be pampered, go out, laugh over things, discuss different views on subjects.
I wanted to try new things with you.
You weren't really interested.

Tired, tired, tired.
That's what you always say.

Now, I'm tired.
I hope you find someone who is able to love you more than I did.
I wish you all the best.
This has been an experience for the both of us, and I wish you happiness and success in whatever you do.
I hope you understand.
You might be very happy in the relationship, but I know I wasn't 100% happy.

People might say I'm a bitch, especially your friends.
I have no comments to that because all I can say is that I did this break up for myself.