"Sometimes love is not enough and the road gets tough I don't know why."

It's been 3 months.
Nothing compared to the relationship of almost 4 years.
I'm trying to get over you but it's not as easy as I thought it would be, because there were many many times when I thought you were my forever and always.
You got over me fast and honestly, good for you.
I know it's gonna take a much longer time for me to be entirely over this relationship, but it's eating me inside.

I know nothing I do now will rewind time.
Nothing I do now can change you to be whom you promised me you'd be.
I hope I was not controlling in the past and whatever I did was at your best interests.
You still remained the same and the breaking point was when I saw you unwrap your 24th birthday present.
I was so heartbroken.

At the beginning of the relationship, you were putting in a whole lot of effort more than me. I didn't have faith.
As time passes by, I believed, I worked towards what I wanted to have, but then I realized that you started to care less.
You say you were busy and have a lot on your mind etc.
But does that mean that when you're busy and stressed out you'll forget and care less about people in your life?

There's no point saying all these again to you because you've heard all these before.
Since you're gonna be settling down with someone new really soon, I hope she will not be like me, feeling as though you don't care.

I don't know if I'll ever see you again or even return the painting to you...
But I think the painting should be destroyed because it'll remind both of us, of us.
When will I see you again? I'll let fate decide. Till then, I wish you all the best in whatever you do and your hopes on getting married soon.

I never knew that my first relationship would end up like that, or be as painful as this.
But I believe that what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger, and I'll try to be that.
It's not going to be easy. With all this emotional pain kept inside.
People might think that I'm being a bitch because I initiated the break up but end up being the one suffering from it.
No one really knows how I feel until you get to be in this relationship and experience the disappointment over and over and over again.

What will 2012 have in store for me I don't know. All I'm wishing for is to regain my self confidence and be happy like before.

It's a painful and very difficult post to write but I had to put my words somewhere. And this is called the rant and vent machine for a reason. :)